Why We Disagree With Each Other: A Case Study
Acts 15
KJV
39+ And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus;
We hardly get this incident discussed among us because of the personalities involved. They are seen as the pillars of the Movement and discussing this incident may do damage to the high esteem in which they are held.
Though we all agree that it was recorded to teach us, we are simply afraid of examining it. In my view, we can discuss it from the objective point of view. Each of the two men had reasons for splitting from the other.
Take a look at the scenario ;
36 And some days after Paul said unto Barnabas, Let us go again and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they do.
37+ And Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark.
38+ But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them from Pamphylia, and went not with them to the work.
Firstly, they were united on the fact that there was the need to go revisit the brethren they had brought to the faith.
Secondly, the contention was about who should go with them, the Team! Barnabas felt that the Team should be made up of the original members.
His reason(s) may be that these are men who already have some experience in mission work so they’ll not need to recruit and train as if they were new members. This could take time hence delaying the scheduled time.
A cogent reason!
Paul would likely have agreed to this suggestion of Barnabas his fellow traveller. It was the mention and inclusion of John Mark, that triggered the conflict.
Paul’s argument was, No he left and returned hence there is no need to take him along”. He further asked,” bro what is the guarantee that he will not repeat the same act?”
Despite Barnabas’ assurances Paul stood his ground not yielding an inch. As a result, they parted company! Now let us look at the factors that could have influenced Paul’s decision
He indeed argued from facts, John Mark left to return home. Barnabas on the other hand was of the view that he could be pardoned as a “ young man” who at the time was immature!” This is also a fact.
Acts 13
KJV
5+ And when they were at Salamis, they preached the word of God in the synagogues of the Jews: and they had also John to their minister.
13+ Now when Paul and his company loosed from Paphos, they came to Perga in Pamphylia: and John departing from them returned to Jerusalem.
So in matters of fact, they both were correct; the other thing that influenced their decisions was “ emotion” and this was the main cause! Yes, emotion.
Factual decisions, that is decisions based on facts don’t divide, it is rather the emotional! And this is exactly what took place. Read it again;
Acts 15:39 NIV
[39] They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus,
The decisions made by both were influenced by their respective emotions! How do I know, you may ask? After many years when tension was down and tempers cooled, Paul asked for Mark to be brought to him! Read it;
2 Timothy 4
KJV
11+ Only Luke is with me. Take Mark, and bring him with thee: for he is profitable to me for the ministry.
Did you read this “ he is profitable to me for the ministry?” Paul’s Words.
Isn’t it the same among us? Factual interpretation of scriptures does not divide us, it is our opinions ( emotional) about a verse /passage etc that divides us. Most uphold and defend their opinions despite the facts pointing to the contrary.
In my line of duty, I’ve encountered many such conflicts. Whereas I argue and decide based on facts, others argue and decide based on emotional considerations of issues.
Unfortunately, they are able to sway many ( the emotionalists ) to believe in their emotional decisions only to regret. Both Paul and Barnabas parted company not on the facts but on emotional grounds.
Anytime there is a conflict, when you trace the source you’ll come to one; emotional decisions were made. Wherever and whenever emotion and not reason are high, conflicts are bound to arise!
And because emotions are difficult to control and bring down conflicts in whatever form ( wars, hostilities, quarrels, division ) etc continue
What makes things worse is that to every emotion there is a name and a face called “ pride and shame”. It is these two that pose the challenge, they sustain and support emotional conflicts.
There is only one medication that cures them, it is called “ maturity “. I believe Paul and Barnabas took it hence Paul’s invitation to Mark to come and join him!
How do I know of Barnabas? Well, John Mark definitely would have to talk things over with his “uncle” Barnabas before accepting to join Paul.
Decisions based on facts don’t divide they unite. It is decisions based on emotions that divide because they fail to see reason!
This is why “ in the midst of fools, it is foolishness to be wise !”
My take.